So, today it’s my birthday. And frankly, I feel good about it. Not only do I think that I feel more ‘like myself’ than ever before, I also feel that it has been something special, like silence before the storm or the anticipation of discovering an animal while walking in the forest. It does help that I’ve, for the first time ever, celebrated it together with someone I am in love with, but I can’t shake off the feeling that the void has some tricks up it’s sleeve for me.

The sun has also shone from a clear blue sky today, which in fact does not resemble my previous behaviour much (^_^). Perhaps it is not something of the past, but something in the future. I don’t know. But having had my share of kicks in the groin by life, I’ve had the tendency of not allowing myself to feel relented joy about a happy moment, because it can always go downhill at any time. Nah, to hell with it. This is the new me. I’ll take the bruises when they arrive, not before they show up.

So perhaps the sun is shining not because of the past or the future, but because of the present… I think I like that thought.