Where have all politeness gone?
You know the old tune “Where have all the flowers gone?” by Pete Seeger, right? I want to rewrite that tune. Let us call it “Where have all politeness gone?”. All-right, time for a rant, you might think, and damn straight it’s time for a rant!
Went to the bank yesterday. I only do that when I need to do something I can’t do by net-banking, such as cashing in a check that has been sent to me etc. This happens one time a year or so. Now, when you visit a service organ, such as a bank, and finally gets to talk to a human being - not that the Internet doesn’t work, but once in a while it’s good to talk to an employee when doing business - when you get to meet face to face, you kind of expect just a little wee bit of politeness. Right? Isn’t that what business is all about? Relationships? Customer care? Let’s not get into the ‘customer complaints care’ here - what I’m talking about is plain and simple politeness.
Well, I step into the bank, write my name on the check, fetch my credit card (to use as an ID for the account the money goes into) and approach the cashier behind the desk. Nice looking woman, everything seems okay. I smile at her and ask her - politely - that I need to get that check cashed and transferred to my account.
What is her response?
{{ frowning and (almost not) looking at me like I really was Mr. Nothing }} “Remember next time to fill in a deposit blanket!”
Now that pisses me off. First of all, how the hell am I supposed to remember doing that; that one time a year I finally come to the bank? Second, it’s not my fucking fault that the bank uses a system that dates back to just before King Tut was at his first prom ball. Third, I was the only customer in line, so why the hell should I get scorned, just because the bitch behind the desk refuses to write twelve (12!) numbers on a piece of paper - OOOOOOH poor little thing!!! This bad, bad customer wants you to…. to…. WORK?!??! Baaaaad customer! Baaad customer! Baaaad!!!
W h a t t h e f u c k ? ? ?
Not a smile, not a “Have a good day” (I was the one telling her to have one!), not even a polite pointer, like: “Sure, but sir, please remember the next time to fill out one of these blankets before going to the counter.”. What I get (and what I also got the previous year) is a slap in my face, a frown and an attitude like I just had emptied my bowels on their lawn.
Oh I’m cooking right now. Ooooh, I’m cooking. Fine, go have a bad day, but it’s not my fucking fault that you haven’t had sex in four years! Dammit! What on earth should one do in order to get some service in this country!?!? This case is not the exception, this is the norm! And not only in stores, also in traffic, in official institutions (uh, those are the worst ones), your workplace, even when you’re walking on the street! Almost goddamn everywhere. And it’s contagious! It bites it self in the tail! I get mad, you get mad, he gets mad and so on.
Why not break that circle? I guess it’s hard when you’re living in a country that has become so free that it’s personally limiting (= sour faces), so narrow-minded that your life is on a formula (”I want to become a lawyer when I grow up!”), and so liberal that everybody is on stress and the [insert preferred drug here]. Relax, god damn it! Relax! Smile! Go kiss a frog, whatever, -just -be -polite!
Aaaarrrgrh!
On this day...
... in 2006: Watch the spoonful
... in 2004: Frustrated
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Jul 29th 2005
dude, it’s the same everywhere. Sometimes it gets really bad though I have to admit. Nobody smiles at anyone anymore.
Jul 29th 2005
oh and if you so much as smile and say hi to a stranger just cos you feel like it, the person will probably have the cops on your ass in 5 min for being a psycho
Jul 29th 2005
Hear, hear. Smiling is also bad. It might be even worse now that everyone you meet is a potential ‘terrorist’. I got looked at yesterday when I helped my girlfriend bring a package to the local post office. Not a small package it was and I was carrying it on the back of my bike. How’s that? Getting looked at because of a package. What’s next? A law against publicly carrying anything larger than a newspaper?
Jul 31st 2005
And where have all the vivacious people gone? The spirited, bubbly, ebullient, buoyant, sparkling, lighthearted, jaunty, merry, happy, jolly, full of fun, cheery, cheerful, perky, sunny, breezy, enthusiastic, irrepressible, vibrant, vital, zestful, energetic, effervescent, dynamic, peppy, bouncy, upbeat, chirpy people? Life is too serious to be taken seriously…
Aug 2nd 2005
This bothers me as well. It isn’t just friendly to be polite and happy. It’s a sign of mental healthyness and having the energy to actually cope with other people.
When someone holds the door, lets you into the train before them and helps you with your bags, it’s not only a good experience; it’s downright sexy. It is an expression of surplus energy. “I’m feeling good and I have the extra energy to feel compassion for other people”. This will be the new symbol of status. Flashy cars can be bought, designer’s clothes can be bought, but surplus energy to be spent on other people is scarce in this modern world, where we are always under pressure.